


Sleeping Arrangements

by baldersgratetoo



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Happy Ending, Impotence, Incontinence, M/M, Misunderstandings, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-08 04:30:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18887215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baldersgratetoo/pseuds/baldersgratetoo
Summary: Dorian doesn't like Cullen's reaction to finding out they're sharing tents, but not all is as it seems.





	Sleeping Arrangements

Dorian was furious and doing his level best to avoid the nervous gaze Cullen had been throwing him since the Inquisitor had made his order.

He thought that Cullen was comfortable around him, both his magic and other intrinsic qualities. The man had proven time and again that he was no shrinking violet, maybe not so good at saying what he wanted or needed, but perfectly capable of voicing his opinion when he didn’t like something, yet he blushed prettily to Dorian’s flirtations over games of chess with never a word of complaint, distress, discomfort, or disgust.

Now the Lion was looking at him like he was, well, a much bigger nastier lion.

The worst bit was that even though it made perfect sense, neither he nor the Commander seemed to have seen it coming. For whilst Dorian had a witty rejoinder on the tip of his tongue before the Inquisitor had even finished proclaiming the two of them would be sharing a tent, it died in his mouth when he saw the look of fear, raw and pure, flash over the other man’s face.

After a few hours of this, they had spent so much time acting oddly that they had soured everyone else’s mood, sitting around a dying fire glumly silent. Cullen had been avoiding conversation and supplying polite but quiet one-word responses when pressed, as though he wasn’t really paying attention, whereas Dorian had been spewing increasingly sarcastic bile until everyone had stopped trying.

After the third attempt and resultant sigh from Trevelyan at engaging Cullen in conversation, Dorian had had all he could take. ‘I’m going to my tent. If you rouse me with creaking and clanging as you remove that monstrosity I shall be less than impressed,’ he spat out as he stood and left the circle not bothering to wait for a reply.

He was used to people being disappointed or disgusted by him and it irritated him but he usually let it run off his well-developed shield before he flayed them, whether that be verbally or physically was usually dependant on the situation. This was the first time since he learned to build that shield at a young age that he was truly upset by it.

Stripping to his small clothes he neatly folded his trousers and tunic, placing them at the foot of the tent atop his boots and stood there in the dark for a moment before he decided, no, he was not going to grant Cullen the power to make him cry over something that apparently never existed.

Whilst he didn’t allow himself to cry, forcing himself to sleep proved far less fruitful. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed but it had to have been at least an hour when he heard something shuffling outside the tent. Seconds later the flap was opened and closed after whoever just admitted themselves. Dorian refused to acknowledge he was awake and stayed facing the right wall of the tent.

Contrary to the sounds of armour being removed he heard someone sit and struggle with boots for a moment, then silence save for the irregular breathing of the new occupant. Eventually, they shuffled about presumably removing their outer garments before tossing them in a corner and shuffling up their bed roll to flop down.

If it was Cullen he was further subverting Dorian’s expectations as he couldn’t resolve the man with clothes tossed in a pile. The whispered, ‘Dorian?’ confirmed it was, in fact, the Commander, but he felt no real desire to engage in what would likely turn into a heated argument. The sigh of relief when he didn’t answer made his blood boil and he had to bite his tongue.

Eventually, he had managed to get to sleep, because he was awoken by a pain in his arm and horrifically sweltering heat. When his faculties had returned he realised to his horror that he had in fact done exactly what Cullen had apparently been afraid of; admittedly in his sleep so at least only his unconscious mind could be blamed but...

But. But it was not him with his arm around Cullen. It was not him cutting off the blood from Cullen’s arm with his head resting on the other man’s shoulder face nuzzling into his neck. It was definitely not him firmly expressing a large interest against his thigh. He gulped. Very large and very firm. Maybe it was time to actually talk to the other man.

‘Cullen,’ he said, gently shaking the shoulder resting on his chest. Nothing. ‘Cullen,’ he said again, louder this time, a stronger shake. While the man didn’t wake, he did respond by moaning and squeezing tighter to Dorian.

Sighing a put upon breath, Dorian this time slapped the shoulder which resulted in Cullen responding with a breathier moan of, ‘Dorian.’ It was the corresponding thrust against his leg making him yelp which finally roused the other man.

He nuzzled further into Dorian’s neck, before letting his head tip back, a lazy smile on his face pulling on the scar in a way that fascinated the mage. ‘Morning Dorian,’ he said, before his eyes drifted slowly open and back closed the smile growing, then freezing. Dorian felt every muscle in the other man gradually tense until Cullens cock once again rubbed his leg, then the spring was loosed.

Before he understood what had happened Cullen was sat as far from Dorian as it was possible to be in the tent, his blanket pulled up around himself and eyes settling anywhere but Dorian.

The anger returned. ‘You are aware that however little you think of me and my capacity to control myself it was you that was molesting me in my sleep, yes?’ Cullen jerked like he had been physically slapped but still didn’t look at Dorian. ‘However fucking irresistible you think you are I’ve done a perfectly admirable job of keeping my perverted hands off of you. Kindly stop pretending you are some meek forest animal and I am some horrific predator!’ he ended shouting. He didn’t much care if he woke anyone else up at this point. He lit a mage fire to see the other man, he didn’t think they’d be returning to sleep anytime soon.

Cullen’s head did shoot up at that point, eyes meeting Dorian’s, red and wet, silently shed tears still running down his cheeks. Once again he was confused, was Cullen really playing the victim? He didn’t think the other man capable of such a performance even if it was true.

‘I’m sorry,’ Cullen croaked out, looking down again.

Dorian was tempted to spit on his apologies and kick him out but... he seemed genuinely upset and Dorian had a suspicion that the apology was not for what he assumed it was. ‘For what, Cullen? Look at me!’

He did like he was compelled. He looked like he’d rather his gaze was anywhere else, but out of shame rather than disgust. ‘I’m sorry for doing that. I know I’ve been,’ he sighed, ‘I should have said when you started flirting with me that I could never...’ he trailed off but this time didn’t allow his gaze to drop.

Dorian swallowed drily but kept his voice calm and didn’t allow it to crack as he responded, ‘you need to finish that thought, Cullen. I have a feeling that I’m either going to lose what I mistakenly considered a friendship or something else is going to happen here, but I need to know.’

Cullen made a small nod, ‘I didn’t know if you were doing it because you do it with everyone or if you thought it was particularly fun to tease me, or because you really fancied me. But even if you wanted me as much as I...,’ he took a deep breath and released it but continued before Dorian had the chance to interrupt, ‘I can’t be what you need, what anyone needs, I was terrified of sharing a tent with you in case I said something stupid but I just attacked you instead. I don’t even know if you even like me.’

Terrified, not disgusted. Unsure not uninterested. What did he mean though? ‘What do you mean what anyone needs Cullen?’

‘I can’t... you know about the lyrium?’ he asked and at Dorian’s terse nod, ‘and that I no longer take it?’

‘I’d guessed that,’ he answered softly.

‘I have disturbed sleep, nightmares, my bones ache constantly, I have headaches that make me consider... certain things. I have woken more than once to unpleasantness and physically. Physically I fear I am incapable.’

Dorian didn’t really think any of those things should make a man appear as ashamed as Cullen seemed right now. They all spoke to his strength of character surely? ‘I know you do not wish to discuss them and are only doing so now because you feel compelled, but I would need you to say plainly what, “certain things”, “unpleasantness”, and “incapable” actually mean?’

Cullen looked sick. ‘By certain things I mean I give serious consideration to throwing myself from my tower or drawing my knife across my neck. By unpleasantness, I mean waking in my own piss if I am lucky. And by incapable I mean just that, I can’t stand to attention.’

‘My thigh begs to differ,’ Dorian mumbled too softly for the other man to hear, causing Cullen’s gaze to turn confused. ‘I have considered the same Cullen, I have even tried. I have woken to puddles of piss, shit, and vomit. I have on more than one occasion failed to get it up. With the exception of my attempt at my life, they have all been brought about by my excesses in drink. You on the other hand experience all these things as you try to do the impossible and cast off physical addiction forced upon you by a corrupt system to make yourself a better man.’

As Dorian finished his impassioned rant, Cullen was looking back at him with disbelieving awe. ‘You really think someone could see past all of that?’

Dorian wanted to slap him. Sighing, ‘are you really so dense, you beautiful man?’

‘Beautiful... oh. Oh!’ he said, then had to spoil it by returning to what he felt were his shortcomings, ‘but why? Why would you want to put up with any of that if I can’t even fuck?’

‘I assure you Cullen, and as my thigh will corroborate, you have the capacity to grow. There are many reasons men have difficulties and it may be you are focusing on the wrong ones. Even if it is a rarity or even in your sleep, there are hundreds of other ways of receiving pleasure which didn’t require it.’

Cullen was nodding along looking like he didn’t really believe a word of it but couldn’t seem to work out why Dorian should lie to him about it.

‘And,’ Dorian continued feeling rather put upon that it required this much convincing, ‘if your concern is for me, rather than your own gratification,’ he paused and found himself somewhat enamoured by the vociferous nod he received in response, ‘you will find that having a cock shoved up my backside is rather low on my list of enjoyable experiences.’

‘Oh. I... thought,’ Cullen stuttered out before blushing a bright red.

‘You assumed I’d bend over for anyone,’ Dorian cut in acerbically, he’d heard it levied at himself enough that he had no desire to hear it from Cullen.

‘No!’ he replied with force, ‘I... assumed you would want it, but not... not that,’ he said looking disgusted. He sighed and clarified his earlier though, ‘I meant to say that I always found it to be, well, pleasant, when I was younger, I suppose it never occurred to me it might not be for some.’

Oh. Dorian’s throat was definitely even drier. ‘Did you,’ he paused to swallow and make sure the phrasing wasn’t too crass, ‘ever, the other?’ He was clapping himself slowly in his mind. Cullen apparently understood though as he gave a small smile, face still alight with deep red, and nodded. ‘And did you enjoy it?’

‘I didn’t dislike it. But it was no more to me than my own hand.’

‘Cullen, do you want me?’ Dorian asked. It seemed to shock the other man though. His head shook, his mouth opened and closed as though thing to force out the denial that Dorian still expected.

Then Cullen stilled, closed his eyes let out a long slow breath, opened them again to look Dorian down. ‘Since I first saw you in Redcliffe. I thought it was just lust returning, I couldn’t feel more for a mage. Then I fell in love with you.’ He closed his eyes again, tight, like a man awaiting a death blow.

Dorian was stunned. He didn’t feel that he didn’t let himself anymore, but could he? For this man, yes, one day.

Neither man seemed to register the movement but when Cullen opened his eyes they were so close Dorian couldn’t focus on them, their lips were pressed together and Dorian’s tongue was granted entry when Cullen’s lips parted on a sigh.

Dorian pulled on Cullen’s neck as he tried to taste deeper into his mouth, forcing him to shuffle along on his knees to remain attached. Once he had them at what he thought was the middle of the tent, he tipped Cullen over onto his back, not letting go, and chuckling into his mouth when the blonde let out a small gasp of alarm, but didn’t try to break away.

He pulled back to look at Cullen’s kiss bitten lips and his pupils blown wide, his head lifting from the bedroll to chase Dorian’s mouth, he chuckled again, ‘eager,’ he said, grinning.

‘You’re mean,’ Cullen said with a pout, still looking at his prize.

It forced another laugh from Dorian, one of disbelief really that this beautiful man was below him, and also that he could pout teasingly. Dorian sobered, and Cullen sensed the change, expression turning more serious, though he didn’t try to push away, his hand moving to stroke Dorian’s forearm where it sat beside his neck.

‘You said you love me and I can’t say it back, not yet,’ Cullen swallowed, but nodded with what Dorian thought was acceptance rather than resignation, ‘I haven’t let myself love for a very long time for fear of the hurt it would cause. I’m not sure I know anymore what it’s supposed to feel like. If I ever did. What I am sure of though, is that if I didn’t already, I will find it very easy to fall in love with you too Cullen, even if it takes me much longer to admit it.’

There was a tear falling from Cullen’s eye again, but before Dorian could say more, he was pulled into another kiss.

Dorian trailed kisses down Cullen’s jaw, before biting down on the juncture of his neck and shoulder; the violent buck Cullen made nearly threw Dorian off his perch, while the wanton moan had him nearly cumming in his smalls.

When they both had their breathing under control, Dorian reluctantly gave in to common sense, ‘perhaps tonight we should merely share in each other’s company and save more carnal pursuits for a more appropriate time and location.’

Cullen whined, actually whined, ‘why do you have to develop a sense of propriety now,’ then sighed, ‘you’re right though I suppose.’

Dorian rolled off and Cullen turned to allow Dorian to wrap himself around his new lover.

‘Good night, Dorian,’ Cullen said softly.

‘Good night, Amatus,’ Dorian whispered in response, before placing a soft kiss to the base of his neck and drifting into an easy sleep.


End file.
